


Better Man

by PezzieCoyote



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Jesus is ours now, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-27 01:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18294023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PezzieCoyote/pseuds/PezzieCoyote
Summary: Paul messes up and thinks Daryl's going to leave him. Will he?





	Better Man

I'm on a roll with these fics. I am so glad to be over my writer's block. Plus, anything to keep Jesus alive. Take that Kang and Gimple. 

****

Paul sighed as Daryl walked away from him. He's really stepped in it this time. He was new to this relationship business but he never thought it'd be this hard. He'd had plenty of hookups and one-night stands, his last one with a guy from the Kingdom. But he'd always been intrigued by the hunter from Alexandria.

It had taken a lot of time and patience for Daryl to actually trust him, especially after how they met. He had to admit that he had a fun time being chased around that field by a man as hot as Daryl. He's also pretty damn sure Rick was enjoying making Paul fall onto Daryl's shoulder. Because he was unconscious, yeah.

The war was over. Negan was dead. Maggie had put the knife in his head herself but no matter how gratifying that probably was, she'd never have her husband back. Paul had supported her, loved her like a sister, as had Daryl. 

It had been a few weeks after Negan was killed that Daryl had come to him and confessed his feelings towards the Hilltop scout. Paul had been blown away. You could have run him through with a sword and he would have never sensed it coming. 

Daryl had never shown him any interest, hadn't ever shown anyone interest. Paul had almost made up his mind that Daryl was asexual, and then the man sauntered into Paul's trailer, took him in his arms, kissed him senseless, then told him he loved him. And later cracked up laughing over the stunned look on Paul's face.

One thing Daryl said he wouldn't put up with was jealousy. And then Paul had done that very thing. A couple of refugees from Sanctuary had shown blatant interest in the hunter, which Daryl hadn't responded to. 

And what did Paul do? Made it obvious that he and Daryl were together by kissing him in front of everyone. Daryl wasn't one for PDA, he made that clear as well. But Paul, in one kiss, had staked his claim, publically outed Daryl, and acted like a jealous clingy boyfriend, the one thing the hunter didn't want.

Daryl had grabbed Paul by the arm and dragged him to the trailer. At first, Paul had hoped he was aroused by the scout's display, but immediately, Daryl had told him off....

"What tha fuck was that?"

"That guy was hitting on you!"

"And what, ya didn't think I'd give any heed ta that did ya? Or ya just wanted everyone ta know we're together?" When Paul didn't say anything, Daryl understood. "Ah. That's it. Ya don't really think 'm with ya for good or even good enough for ya."

"No, Daryl, that's not what I think–"

"I tol ya that I didn't want anything ta do with jealousy or any kinda high school reaction ta this. 'F people found out, so what? But ya know how I am with that. And ya did it anyway! Did ya even think about how I'd feel?"

Paul hung his head down. "I didn't think, no. I'm sorry, Daryl. I just saw red when I saw that guy hitting on you. He may as well offered to drop to his knees right there."

Daryl got up in Paul's face. "And I woulda tol him ta get tha fuck up and go away. Don't ya trust me ta be faithful? Or ya lookin' for some kinda out?"

Paul started to panic. "No, no, that's not it at all. I'm sorry, I was jealous and panic took over. Please don't leave me." He neared Daryl and dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around his lover's waist. "Please don't leave."

Daryl rolled his eyes and pushed the scout away. "I need some time away. Goin' hunting."

"Daryl–"

"No! I need some time, or do ya not think 'm worthy of that either?"

Paul recoiled as if he'd been slapped. Still on the floor, he looked at his lover, shame and regret in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry Daryl. Take all the time you need. Just... I love you okay?"

Daryl glared at the scout for a few moments before nodding jerkily. "I know that. I just need ta cool off and decide if–"

"If what?"

Daryl sighed, looking down, then back at Paul. "I need ta decide if I can handle this, any of it." Before Paul spoke again, Daryl had grabbed his crossbow and walked away.

Paul was still kneeling on the floor, tears rolling down his face. He couldn't stand it if Daryl decided he wasn't worth it anymore. He braced his hands on his knees, hair in his face, tears soaking his face and shirt. He dug his fingernails into his knees, the sting prominent even though his cargos.

"Daryl..." he moaned pitifully.

Which brought him to now. How could he make Daryl believe he wanted to be with him? That he wouldn't act like a complete tool again. Well, he couldn't exactly promise that. He could promise not to act like a jealous asshole. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully.

Finally he got up, a little unsteady on his feet when he left the trailer. He had to talk to Maggie. She had no choice but to listen since she was on strict bed rest. He lightly knocked on her door, entering the room at her call.

"Hey Jesus, what's– what's wrong?"

Paul couldn't hold it and broke down crying again, crawling onto the bed and laying against Maggie, being careful of the baby bump. She rubbed at his back and hair, tears coming to her own eyes at Paul's sadness.

"I fucked up, Maggie. I'm going to lose him."

"What? Jesus, you need ta calm down or you're gonna git sick."

It took a little while but finally, Paul managed to rein himself in. He leaned back on the bed pillows next to Maggie, wiping his eyes before taking a deep shaky breath.

"The group from the Sanctuary was here. One of the guys was blatantly hitting on Daryl. I just saw red and kissed him in front of everyone. He got pissed."

"Oh god," Maggie said. 

"He was so disappointed with me. He pushed me away when I hugged into him. Said he was going hunting to decide if it was worth it," he finished, tears falling again. 

"Oh honey, you can't think the worst. You have to have patience with Daryl sometimes. He's not used to affection like that. You know how he grew up?"

Paul shook his head. "No, he never explicitly said. I know about the scars on his back, but not the hows or whys of it."

Maggie sighed, rubbing her hand on his arm. "When I first met Daryl, he was a loner, aloof, angry. Bein' around his brother Merle had a lot to do with that too. His daddy and his brother were racist, homophobic, thought women were good for nothin' except for sex and cooking. Very domineering men."

"Oh god, that's horrible!"

She nodded. "It is. And this was in Georgia, so being out was out of tha question. He got used ta people touching him after being at the farm. Wasn't used to anyone touching him in anything other than anger, so. It was a lifetime of that kind of conditioning, it was a lot to overcome."

"I told him how sorry I was. One thing he didn't want was jealousy in our relationship. Said I thought he wasn't good enough for me," he informed her, his voice shaking on the last few words.

"Listen, he'll be out huntin', he'll calm down, he'll come back to you."

Paul ran his fingers through his hair, taking another deep breath. "You sound sure."

"I am sure. Look, Jesus, like I've said, I've known Daryl for a few years now. He doesn't commit to something unless he's sure about it. When we all got separated after the prison fell–" Paul knew the story– "Daryl took care of my little sister Beth. She did more for him in those few weeks than I did in the months we were at the prison. He blamed himself when she was taken by the Grady Memorial people. Blamed himself when she died right in front of him. That's what he does. His childhood also conditioned him to take blame where it was unnecessary. He'll come around, I know it."

"I hope you're right."

"I am right. Now go back to your trailer and do something special for him. Talk to him. Be honest. He knows you love him, believing it on a physical level is different."

Paul nodded, hugging her one more time before leaving the room. He headed to the kitchen to get a few food items to cook with, as well as a few spices. He spent the next couple of hours in their trailer cooking up what he hoped was a romantic meal for them.

It was hours later, the sun had already gone down, when Daryl returned. He dropped a buck off to the kitchen staff to take care of before he went to the trailer. He braced himself before entering, expecting Paul to start grovelling right away. He didn't want that, it wasn't worth that.

Instead, he found the room filled with a delicious smell. Looking around, he saw several candles on some available surfaces, giving the room a lovely ambient atmosphere. He didn't see Paul anywhere, so he ventured to the bathroom for a shower. He sorely needed it after a long day in the hot sun, especially after bringing that buck back.

Afterward, he was dressed in loose sweatpants and a baggy shirt, making his way back towards the kitchen area, finally seeing Paul, who was sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, legs crossed, just watching him.

"What's cookin'?"

Paul didn't answer. Instead, he asked his own question. "Are you leaving me?"

Daryl was taken aback somewhat. "I never said I was leavin' ya. Said I just needed some time."

Paul let out a shaky breath. That answered one question. 

"Did you... decide what you–"

Daryl, still having a tough time with expressing his emotions, neared Paul and got to one knee beside the chair. He took the scout's hand in his, kissing the back of it. "I overreacted. I know that guy was being a royal ass. He was comin' on ta me. I know that. Ain't stupid."

"I never said you were."

"Lemme finish, please."

Paul nodded. 

"'M sure ya talked ta Maggie, and she told ya some of why I am the way I am."

Paul nodded again, looking a little chagrined. 

"It's fine. I'd expect nothin' less. 'S long as ya keep it ta yaself. Anyways, the only way ma daddy showed any feelins was by usin' the belt. He killed whatever love I shoulda had for 'im. Told me I was weak 'cause I was sensitive, whatever that's supposed ta mean. Guess it meant I actually gave a damn 'bout someone other than maself."

"Daryl–"

"Please! Let me!"

Paul closed his eyes briefly before sliding out of the seat. He pushed Daryl back against the bed, his legs out straight now, so he could straddle Daryl's thighs. Daryl rested his hands on Paul's thighs, rubbing his thumbs into the muscle gently.

"What 'm saying is I ain't used ta any kinda affection. Even now, everyone shows me in their own way that I mean somethin'. That I ain't just useless redneck trash."

Daryl was looking into Paul's wide eyes. He never could figure out what color they were. After a few moments, Paul leaned in and kissed Daryl gently on the mouth. 

"I love you. And I'm sorry for being a jealous ass."

Daryl's lips rose in a small smile. "I know. I love ya too. I guess I ain't used ta being in a situation where someone's jealous. Ya know I'd never cheat on ya."

"I know," Paul replied, his hands resting on Daryl's shoulders. "I also know how anything related to Sanctuary is a trigger for you."

Daryl leaned his head back slightly. "It used to. With Negan dead, I just don't too much care anymore. If they're tryna be better, do what's right, fine. They mess with anyone I love, there's goin' ta be a problem."

"I'll be the first one to back you up."

"And anotha thing. This is worth it, bein' with ya. I wouldn give it up, not without a fight. Ya mean too much ta me."

Paul smiled and buried his face in Daryl's hair. He felt relief flow through him. That was one thing Paul always worried about, whether he was worth it. 

"Ya're worth everything ta me. Ya show me all tha time that 'm worthwhile, that 'm someone who should be trusted 'n loved 'n respected. Ya make me feel like a better man."

Daryl kissed Paul, plundering his mouth, after which Paul rose up, extending a hand to his lover. 

"Let's go to bed, baby, I want to make love to you, show you how good you make me feel."

Daryl smiled, taking his hand. "You don't need to, I already know."

"I know I don't need to, I want to."

Paul pulled back and yanked off his shirt. "Last one to bed bottoms." Then he took off. 

Daryl laughed at his lover's antics and followed slowly behind him. Because he wasn't going to pass up that deal.


End file.
